shouting loudest to cover the deafening silence within

for me birthday wishes are much the same as memorial statements and sentiments at funerals

things are said and felt that are socially sanctioned, which seem to be appropriate. …culturalized memes in dealing with life and death

we say things that are acceptable and even respectful but perhaps we say the things that we would like to be heard said about us rather than what we really feel is true or the reality of the situation

birthdays and funerals may well be one of those things, in this case a ritual, that says more about us than the one we are mourning or celebrating?

perhaps we go to be a part of another’s event but in reality we go to our own event… or perhaps at least a projection of our own?

if we could be brutally honest with ourselves we might just be able to admit that we are profoundly confused by death and life… that we understand neither

most of us will declare that we are sure of these things but often those who shout the loudest do so to cover the deafening silence within

we are vexed by it all… yet we cannot acknowledge this publicly, not even privately to ourselves

so we lose ourselves along with everyone else in a socially acceptable ritual much like mist in a valley of confusion

we stand together in a shared hope and make declarative communal statements as if the louder we speak in unison the more we will determine another outcome in reality and in our own understanding … that perhaps we long to be seen to be known as a significant contribution in life and death, a meaningful, constructive and eventful part in it all

we’d love to be wished well at both as if this act might endorse our validity and cover the mist of the obvious illusion…

so in it we say not what is but what we’d like to hear

we act in accordance with the way we’d like things to be rather than the way things really are

maybe to be honest is unbearable for us to say or to hear being said. … so we tacitly agree to agree for our own sakes

and we choose to celebrate the illusion rather than align to the reality

… and if so, what does this say about us?

what would this reveal about our grasp on reality?

what would it say about our desire in the pursuit of truth as best we know it?

do we really seek after truth, or do we seek after an environment that endorses our preconceived belief systems?

what does it say about ourselves and our belief systems in general? … about the way we choose to place our faith in things?

is this act of communal ritualized faith the way we desperately want things to be like rather than what we deeply fear things really are?

… or is it what we have concluded for ourselves in unsubstantiated hope as the best we can wish it to be … as what we have chosen to settle for as the closest possible link to what we can come up with as a desired reality for our perspectives?

perhaps the reality of it all is that not to play this game of illusion is profoundly unbearable?

… and that it is indeed wisdom to be a participant?

… or not?

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