and the wind spoke

… silently

so still

… that it roared

“don’t run to where you are celebrated

nor run from where you are only tolerated

stay where you are

be free to be free

be who you are

regardless of the cost”

freedom cannot be given

nor can freedom be taken

freedom cannot be bought

nor can it be sold

freedom is not a thing

freedom is simply free

and it is for freedom

that freedom is free

freedom can only appear

from within

and it is at home wherever it is

and it is within

it is not without

it is within

… you

wherever you are

so where are you?

inside of you

he said

it comes from within,

not from without

nor from above,

or below

he said

it cannot it be dragged

or pushed

neither up

nor down

it cannot be predicted

and reveals no plan

nor can it be manipulated

or held in hand

nor let go

but it holds it’s own

and it’s own are held

tight

it cannot be understood

or grasped in mind

he said

instead it reaches in

invading space

expanding as it goes

the small becomes great

as the large hides

away

handle not as it ascends

he said

until it is full

until it glows

it grows

for freedom

for the sake of freedom

he said

for my sake

he said

for ours said we

from within not from without

he said

why not?

said we

the creator is at rest

the universes strive for nothing

all motion is balanced

what was started will flow

there are no surprises

except for those who will not see

but they are blind

and will not know

for they cannot

what is happening

will happen anyway

and either way

they will not know

we are the ones who judge

we who rage

who strive to be more

because we are empty

yet those who are empty and strive for more

can only be more empty

but the creator is at rest

the universes strive for nothing

all motion is balanced

and what was started will flow

but we judge ourselves

and we deserve what we get

and we

will get

what we deserve

but if we stop

and listen

for longer than we’ve been shouting

even then the silence will begin to sing

the noise too will cease

and we will know fully

just as we are fully known

then we will get what we deserve

and deserve what we get

Having been a musician virtually all my life I have often been involved in musical recording projects ranging from individual demo songs, to high-end popular artists albums, to movies, all the way across the spectrum to 30 second radio and TV advertisements recorded solely for the purpose of getting people to buy a specific product.

I have also been involved in many forms of “Christian” worship projects and meetings as a musician and on more occasions than I care to remember I have been asked or ‘instructed’ by the pastor/evangelist/preacher/teacher/worship leader etc. to play specific worshipful styles and songs with specific words, messages and cultural meaning that ‘set the tone’ for the message that they want to convey and to assist them in getting the desired response from the people.  (Usually this response is intended to be a good one that is meant to be specifically helpful to the audience in attendance – or so it is believed).

As a person who believes in what scientists might call “intelligent design” and what most religious folk might in various ways and forms refer to as “God” I have often asked myself what exactly we are doing when we do what we do.

I also believe that most of us are sincere in what we say, do and even believe (although there clearly are malicious deviants out there who intentionally manipulate others to gain personal advantage out of them. However, I believe these deviants are a small, lunatic fringe …. well, er, …I can only hope sincerely that I am correct in this personal belief).

Over the years I have begun to ask whether what we do as orthodox and sincere religious activity on a regular basis is rooted in basic and elementary aspects of our humanity (specifically our nature as physical beings in a physical world) that is more emotionally and sensually driven and not nearly as ‘spiritual’ or even as cognitively or intellectually based as we would like to believe it is.  I have often begun to ask myself whether the sense of the “presence of God” or the “rightness” of a spiritual way, thing or activity or even the ‘rightness’ of a specific community or religious grouping or order is really valid?  Is the sense we have, be it however intentional and well thought through, actually a link with the divine creator or a higher order of spiritual life or consciousness, or just an emotional and physical process of perception resulting in an experience that makes us feel that it is so?

We all want to be ‘right’ and we all want to ‘belong’ and these desires are neither good nor bad – they are natural, human, even instinctual.  They seem to be what we are, how we were created even.

The following link is to an article on some interesting research that I came across that introduces an interesting and possibly alarming angle on the way we tend to respond to certain stimuli.

(Anatomy of a Tear-Jerker) ~ http://ow.ly/98sLK

___________________________

The other day the oldest daughter of good friends wrote on Facebook,

“Is it possible to feel trapped inside yourself?”

To which I replied, “Most definitely young lady. In fact, I would be so bold as to suggest that if one does not feel this way there is something quite wrong.  We are not bodies with a spirit – we are spirit – housed or possibly even trapped for a while in a body.”

Unawares to me over the next few hours I was once again to be ambushed by a personal lament I have had since as far back as I can remember.

In my youth I was greatly impacted by the musical “West Side Story” and one of the tunes had a profound effect on me – “Somewhere”

It spoke to me of displaced people. People seemingly born out of place, out of time. Strangers in a foreign world, aliens trapped and stranded in circumstances perhaps beyond their conscious choosing.

Over the years I have managed to draw some significant comfort from the ancient holy writings that speak of the blessings that await those who are aliens and sojourners in a strange land, those who have set their minds on pilgrimage through a dry and inhospitable land. Aliens who are armed only with the hopeful vision in the eye of their hearts of the secret ancient paths that seem to lead to a place and a domain in another realm where there is indeed peace and rest.

Living my life in South Africa as a foreigner and an alien in my own land seems only to have served to illuminate this view on reality.

But I am not totally alone…

There are a few of us out here in the wilderness…

“There’s a place for us,
Somewhere a place for us.
Peace and quiet and open air
Wait for us somewhere.

There’s a time for us,
Someday a time for us.
Time together with time to spare,
Time to learn, time to care.
Someday, somewhere
We’ll find a new way of living,
We’ll find a way of forgiving,
Somewhere.

There’s a place for us,
A time and place for us.
Hold my hand and we’re halfway there
Hold my hand and I’ll take you there,

Somehow
Someday
Somewhere… “

Somewhere (There’s a Place for us)
Music: Leonard Bernstein
Lyrics: Stephen Sondheim

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZKX2J6nofE

we spend our lives trying to climb over, dig under, avoid crashing into, understand its structure…

we try to skip around it, paint it, repaint it, measure it, mend it, warn others about it or even tear it down…

‎we philosophize about it, analyse its perimeter and the implications thereof, measure the horizon by it, study its foundations and origins, assess its impact, redesign it, encourage others to ‘occupy it’…

yet there is no fence

______________________

silence needs no promoter

… silence speaks for itself

we say “I do” – but we don’t

it was written

that the word

became flesh

became man

took form

and shaped

reshaped the form

lived amongst us

it is also written

that we must do

as was done

as the word fleshed

so must we

so when, do tell

so when will our words

become flesh?

when will our words

live amongst us?

through us

in us

for no greater…

has any

than to…

“I love you”

what?

what does that mean?

just words

we hear

lots of them

spun beautifully

we read

feel the glow of their presence

what do you meme?

what is the meme-ing of life?

but we still need

to carry the book

feel compelled

to quote

unquote

because we forget

so immediately

not backed up

with nothing to back it up

except a leather binding

words

letters

thin ink

on thin paper

as shadows

we see a reflection

glance away for a second…

and we are found

having lost our place

in a smoked mirror

we have forgotten

we have lost

our space

we have lost

our face

and the face

of God