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Tag Archives: expectations

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one day I decided to go to Heaven
when I got there I found no one else was there

it felt like Hell to me

so then I decided to come back to life
and I suddenly awoke again
only to find there was no one there either

I decided that meaning
was neither here nor there
instead, meaning was right now

heaven and hell
and everything else
is anything before or after this

so I abandoned hope and fear
lest I be disappointed
by hitting or missing the target of my own expectations

now each day feels like an eternity

it’s amazing what you can achieve
when you’ve nothing else to do in the day

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The unofficial chairperson of the local Chuck Norris (a.k.a. Chuck Almighty) movement told me glumly the other day that Chuck recently turned 71 years old.  She spoke almost forlornly of how he looked grey-ish and well, … pretty much like a 71 year old might look I suppose.  However the sadness in the words was tangible.

For me this is all in striking contrast to the excessive euphoria that seems to surround the Chuck Norris phenomenon … I’m sure you know the kind of thing I’m speaking of, …

monologues like, “Superman wears ‘Chuck Norris’ Pyjamas” …

“Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack – his heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.” …

“Chuck Norris is the reason why Wally (Waldo) is hiding” …

“When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways” …. etc. … and if you haven’t been bombarded by the multitude of Chuck Norris chirps yet don’t fret – simply regard yourself as one of the more fortunate ones.

This obsession with superhero’s – where does it come from?

Now I know that the Chuck Norris humour is almost completely innocent (at least I sincerely hope it is) and most probably in light-hearted jest, but I simply cannot shake the idea that maybe it just might be the subconscious collective heart of mankind dealing in a weird form of bizarre cathartic act voicing memes that on the surface seem to disguise something really deep, sinister and perhaps even dark.  I think we have to admit that we seem so often to make light-hearted jest when calamity shocks our senses?  Immediately I think of the death of Lady Diana Spencer (Lady Di) as a shocking example where no sooner had she passed away before jokes, many extremely insensitive, but nevertheless (at least to my mind) often hilarious in a very dark, even disrespectful way, were rampantly circling the globe.  Perhaps it’s just a way of dealing with our own loss, pain and confusion?  Perhaps not?

How do we let things get so easily out of proportion?  Could it be because in our desperation we have this inconsolable need for a human superman to represent us?  Someone who defies the natural order of things?  Someone or something above and beyond the limitations of our physical world.  A night in shining armour, gallantly hoofing his way toward us, ready to sweep us off our feet, up and out of the smelly quicksand and snatch us away to safety, peace and tranquility.  But perhaps more scary, are we determined to create this persona, real or fictitious, human or superhuman, man or God, in the image of our own limited perceptions?

Could it be that even Jesus has somehow become our own regular Chuck Norris?  I don’t know about anyone else, but for me contemporary theology sure seems to suggest this.

I hope one day God doesn’t turn 71 for some of us.

It could be fairly devastating.

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it’s those pesky expectations that cause all the problems.

maybe if our expectations were exclusively of ourselves we could then at least challenge our own motives?   … .   .   or could we?

cynicism? hmm.. .  .  I know it’s a sadly misunderstood word these days but perhaps being a cynic is a logical mechanism that should be explored a whole lot more?

the 2 meanings of cynical I am drawing reference from are 1. believing or showing the belief that people are motivated chiefly by base or selfish concerns; skeptical of the motives of others, and  2. pessimistic, as from world-weariness

something inside of us seems to press us towards believing, … in something, someone..  .   this naturally builds expectation and it fuels us a whole lot.    we can live on the glow of expectation for a long, long time until . .  .    .      .

but when the expectations are dashed or just simply not met … . .   .  what once was a very hopeful, positive feeling suddenly can shift poles in a most alarming way

we have faith,  and faith has an outcome as its focus or it isn’t faith at all really, is it?  our expectations are hooked on this outcome and let’s face it,  they could be realistic or not – and whether our expectations are realistic or not,  they still face the possibility of failure .. .  . especially if placed in the hands of others  … .  .    .    but do we really place it in the hands of others?  … or do we keep it firmly in our own hands

sometimes we hope in outcomes, and this is not necessarily a bad thing, but then we don’t stop there – we continue to invest our expectations in the outcomes and even begin to fill in details of the outcome and it becomes more and more measured and detailed as we go along  .  .   .     .     and as it has been said, “the devil is in the detail”

it’s easier to be positive when things are going well and when they are we like to believe that it’s because we are positive that things are going well … .  .   but when things don’t go well,   … .   .    well, what usually happens to our positiveness?  . .  .    .    and it’s not all that pleasant to admit or even think that it’s because we are not positive that things didn’t go well . .  .    .     or not?

I’m a mostly buoyant guy but if you’ll allow me to be honest here I’ll have to admit to living an emotional roller-coaster a lot of the time  – I have faith, I’m positive, I enjoy life, I’m mostly successful in what I do, I am loved, even celebrated, I joke a lot (maybe far too much),  … .  .    .    but I can sure swing in and out of joy  .. .  .    .   I find the smallest things can so easily upset my equilibrium ..  .   .     after the fact the real cause of the swing can be easily rooted to my own failed expectations which mostly I don’t recall building in detail, but in detail they are built   … .   .  and I am found,     .. .  .   disillusioned,  – the illusion I had built up has been truly ‘dissed’  … .   .    my fabricated projection is ripped from me and there I stand, personally and often publicly exposed  ..  .    .     .       and then,  mostly what I am left with is the painful humiliation of my own misplaced and failed expectations

. .  .  and to make it worse,  it’s more about me than it is about them or it .  .  .  and to make it worse still, I seem to tend to choose to make it about them or it .. .  . after all, surely it can’t be me who brought this all about? . .  .     .  could it?

so what do I have faith in?

what are my expectations?

maybe to manage them before I go out and scatter them as seeds along the paths of my life might be a way of being really faithful   …  .   .    to God, myself, others… .   .    .  ?

and if I fail?  . .  .  well, maybe it is true that underneath are the everlasting arms.. .  .   .     and maybe the best seed we can scatter and the best path we can scatter it on is inside ourselves? … .   .    .      in the early hours, before the day really begins perhaps we can seize our own day and then walk  on the realistic substance of things hoped for and march resolutely towards the evidence of things not quite yet seen?