WAITING ON GOD

waiting on God … hmmm?  a very prominent meme amongst christians from what I can see

firstly, it’s very rich coming in a world of fast-food, instant gratification, personal short and long term insurance, re-insurance, quick-fix best sellers, disposable culture

just the thought of waiting on/for anything is revolutionary in our times

so what are we waiting for? …. for God to open doors?

I was asked this very sincerely recently –  so it got me thinking

… and when we wait what are we waiting for?

is God late? reluctant? … holding out with punitive intent? … insisting that we first learn a lesson or two before he grants us our wish … our need …. our desire ….does God do this?

hang on,  I thought it says that he makes it rain on the godly as well as the ungodly … so, nah, can’t be then? … can it?

hey! – maybe he’s waiting for us? … but if we are waiting for God and he’s waiting for us neither will get what they’re waiting for – in fact, this way no one gets anywhere … so it’s got to be one or the other, not both? … not so?

so, what does it say? … it says that God is at rest – that’s what it says

and what could this mean?     is he tired?     exhausted?      needing a holiday?

but then again, maybe not ….  maybe he’s satisfied?  … like after a job well done … maybe even content, confident – maybe God’s at rest in the fact that what was begun in the beginning was indeed good, profoundly successful and very well balanced and well able, in it’s own good and perfect time and process to run its perfect course to a perfect end … ?

but for most of us to wait is a huge weight – especially in these times we live in

ok, so he’s resting, but does this mean he’s stopped? … now there’s a question!

it all was started in the beginning and it goes on, or so we are led to believe

we use words like eternity … a very short word for such a long time

… but then maybe time has nothing to do with eternity? … now there’s another long question

it’s often sung from the scriptures that waiting on God is good

but is it always good to wait?

well, maybe not always, but perhaps definitely in this day and age

why?  –  well to my mind we live in an artificial world – a world no longer in line with what it was meant to be – a make believe world of virtual reality masquerading as reality, in fact no, not only masquerading as reality, but actually replacing reality

we have made the world we live in and it’s a world of strenuous marketing strategies based almost exclusively on self-promotion

this is so anti the spirit, pattern and process of the universe we say we live in – even so anti the spirit of the Christ we claim to worship and follow as personal disciples (did the term ‘anti-christ’ come to mind? … hmmmm?)

I had a thought once that shook me to my bones – a simple thought really, but it changed almost everything for me …. it dawned on me that the creator as well as the creation does not plant trees, but instead, seeds are sown. … this is a revolutionary thought (if you can let the seed take root in your mind that is)

if anything is to surface, it will surface even if it has to break through tons of solid concrete

it may take time but it will surface

there are very few if any, sudden, quick fixes

trying to make things happen …. also, ….  waiting for things to happen, both don’t work – it will  happen, or it won’t  …. and when it does it will not be a second earlier or later than is the perfect time, regardless of the circumstance or context – perhaps even if the context is our own misguidedness or even mindless foolishness … now there’s another thought

this is not fatalism but the reality of the order of our universe … and if there is no order … well then, nothing matters at all … which sadly, in this day of such enlightenment and technological advance is pretty much the way we live our lives mostly – no mind for the effects of cause nor the cause of effects – no understanding of time or space ahead or past …. only, nothing but me and mine

perhaps ‘waiting on God’ is simply the time it takes to finally allow ourselves to see the reality of who we are? … also the reality of what we are, where we are and what we are standing on  … so that then we can respond appropriately

perhaps it’s the time it takes for us to come to a realisation of who or what God is? … for us?

and who or what we are … for God?

… that is who God is …

…. that who we are is what we are

…. that who we or God are is not what we’d like it to be, or wish it weren’t – which is just normal marketing and merely vain magic tricks  to try perhaps stay the hand of the inevitable for a while  (did you hear the word witchcraft?)

there is order out there as well as in here … so maybe waiting on God is the realisation that shouting louder only makes us deaf to the realities around us…

… that trying harder only increases the resistance …

… that giving up only prepares us for collision

but like God, we too can be at rest

whose side is God on?

ok, I confess!! – I love top rank professional boxing contests – also MMA cage combat  … can’t really say what it is, maybe it’s tribal, maybe I’m just a moronic brute?  Maybe it’s the warrior buried deep inside?  Maybe I’m simply deluding myself?  Or it could be that I need help?  However, I cannot but admire these guys nor cease to savour their exploits. … and to quote a Paul Simon lyric, “… just like a dog I was befriended…”

These modern day gladiators are often graduates of real hard-knock histories yet most of them even with the cold steel glares, snarling faces, rippling iron bodies, and layers of tattoos, are seemingly very religious people.  I am always amazed how they virtually all spend a quiet few seconds at the start of the fight and just before pounding their opponent into a bloodied, messy pulp they can be seen dropping to their knees in intense, contemplative prayer to God.  Perhaps this is done as a bid for their own protection but most probably for a resounding personal victory (as yet I simply cannot bring myself to consider for one second that they are praying for the well-being of their opponents).

Often I see both doing the same thing in their respective corners and at the same time.

In these moments I wonder whose side God is on.  Is he on the side of the gladiator with the quickest fists, or the hardest jaw, perhaps the bigger muscles, greater muscle tone, or the fighter with the greater skill or perhaps the best and most experienced trainer ….  You see, usually these are the ones who win anyway, so why pray in the first place?  Why pray at all?  Could God be on the side of the lesser athlete, the ‘underdog’?  Does God tend to care for the weak more than the strong?

We might not be those gladiators, but whose side is God on in our tournament of life?

I am also amazed at how many belief systems believe God is on their side exclusively.  Can this be?

Our history is littered with the broken hearts and even slain bodies of multitudes who paid the ultimate price standing up for their belief that God is on their side exclusively.  Most of us wager eternity on what we believe, and we seem to do it willingly.

So, whose side is God on?  Is God in the middle?  And if God is in the middle or ‘neutral’ is the middle exclusive or inclusive? What if God is on neither side?  What if God is on his own side … and what if we are on our own side?

What if there are no sides at all?

Maybe it’s all 360 degree, endless horizon?

i want to hear from you

I want to hear from you for myself. I don’t want to hear the words from another mouth telling of mysteries and marvellous things they say you have said and done. I’m not dissing these people or what they say, it’s just that I’m tired of constantly being bombarded with the thoughts of some other celebrity, another son or daughter who has claimed to set out to pick and gather fruits themselves. Not even from some other who has walked the paths you have trodden.

I don’t want to eat the manna gathered by anyone else. Long ago in the wilderness they all went out and gathered for themselves, every day, each for his own. I want to gather it myself. This is not too much to ask. I hear you calling us all this way.

I was taught to pray, “give me today my daily bread,” so is it too much to insist that I eat from your hand? May I never again eat of the crumbs from off another mans table. You yourself said that here is a table you have prepared for me, why should I eat from a table prepared for someone else? Is it a crime to feel that no other will satisfy?

I cannot put adequately into words how I long to put my feet into your footprints, how I ache to place my feet in the marks left by you. Warm, fresh footprints along the ancient paths that you have walked on ahead of me. That you have walked specifically that I may follow. You said, “Follow me!” How many shepherds do I need?

I yearn for the sound of your breath in my ears. My longing is to feel your every move. Even when my eyes are closed I want to see your form walking through the fields of my dreams. In the day I want to smell your presence. At night I want to feel your embrace. I don’t want to buy some book and read to get my dreams.

You have said some things that have left their mark on me and I cannot erase it. You have said that your resting place is in the heart of man, the hearts of those ransomed back by God. You have said that you have chosen to rest amongst your people, that you have chosen to dwell in us, that you have pitched your tent in our hearts and in our minds. It is evident that you want to use our lips, feel with our hands and walk with our feet. It is clearly apparent to me that you want to mix your breath with ours, to express your eternal thoughts through mouths of dust.

It is because of this that I am restless and no longer desirous to live a second hand life. I have been locked into subservience to the voice of others far too long, the CD’s and DVD’s and countless books and publications of some others experiences. I make no judgment on them, instead I find myself in the balance and I see myself as wanting. It was said that you desire an intimate relationship with me. Why have I fallen for the trap that I can get this through another? The life you offer is not that of voyeurism, like some well lit, sensuous soft-porn movie that bewitches viewers into vicariously entering into imagined acts of intimacy.

I want to heed your leading and walk the paths you walk, the paths that you set before me,

the ancient paths that lead to your throne. I want to walk with you along the paths you have trodden before even time began. I desire to constantly follow quickly, not turning away to the left or to the right that we may walk together and enjoy our company as we go. I want to find rest and peace for my soul at your side. If I find others alongside me it is all good and well. There is enough room. But surely we all need to get there ourselves?